Hello and Welcome to Thursday from my Atlantic Life in Hatteras 😊
This morning I decided would be a rocking chair on the covered upper deck kind of morning, complete with mug of hot chocolate and fleece blanket.
My cozy place this morning...
Sitting in the early morning glow of light, I was struck by the stillness of my surroundings – the grounds at the back of the inn are enclosed by thick maritime bushes and trees, so I’m sheltered from some of the winds when I sit out here, tucked into the corner of the deck just outside the library lounge.
Enclosed by maritime bushes, shrubs and trees
But the longer I sat in my stillness, the more I realized it was anything but still. I could hear the drips of water on the roof from an earlier rain shower, I could hear the surf in the distance, the creaks of the century old inn as it expands and contracts in the temperature fluctuations (of which we get a lot of!). The chatter of the early morning birds as they speak with each other, the rustle in the foliage as a couple of deer appear on the lawn before disappearing again, and the occasional sound of a passing car or truck making its way to the ferry terminal, perhaps taking supplies to our neighbor island of Ocracoke.
My often, morning friends...
You see, the more present I was in the moment of so-called stillness – the more aware I became of the early morning world around me.
Now, it’s only in the past couple of years that I have learned how to be “present” – as I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, my life used to be particularly hectic….much of which was work related, having a teenager in High school, JB travelling a lot with his work….and of course a 40 acre farm and my 4 horses – but, looking retrospectively, much of it was self-imposed. In fact, I prided myself on my ability to handle lots of things well all at the same time – the more plates I had spinning in the air, the cleverer I must be…. How Wrong can a person be!!!!!!!!!
Look.....see what I can do!!!!
What I didn’t think about was that I wasn’t giving my full attention to any one of the plates – as long as they were still spinning, I was obviously doing a great job, or so I thought. It didn’t occur to me to consider the amount of energy it consumed, both physically and mentally running between so many plates, ensuring they kept spinning. I didn’t consider that I was constantly triaging everything I did in my life – trading off time, energy and attention between tasks and projects, people and events. What was more important? What timeline was more critical? Who (in my messed up mind at that time) would be least disappointed or more understanding? What would have most positive impact on my family, friends, career, horses….and so it went on.
Always the constant prioritizing and subsequent guilt for the trade-offs. It’s not until you are so tired and drained of energy and yet again you’ve added even more plates to spin, that it becomes an impossible feat to keep them all going….and then, the first one to slow down, that you didn’t quite triage appropriately…. or maybe you were just too damned tired/exhausted…….Wobbles
The dreaded Wobble....
You freak out and dash over to get the momentum going again, but it takes up more time than usual, because in your panic, you concentrated more than usual on that one plate (task/project/person/event) and before you know it you hear that dreaded sound of another one wobbling, so again you dash over to that one and throw all your energy into stabilizing that other plate (task/project/person/event) and as that one begins to spin fast again – You suddenly become aware of all the other wobbles…..and at that point you freak out even more, sprinting between all your plates desperately trying to keep them spinning and …..then it happens - The first crash…… and you freeze….as you see the fragments shatter dramatically on the floor. Irrational panic is now ruling your head – Do you try to pick up the pieces? Try to keep the others spinning? Try to set up some new plates to spin?...Frozen in fear - one by one they begin to fall one after the other, until you’re sitting on the floor surrounded by your shattered plates (life), so stunned, you can’t move. You have no idea how you will ever fix this? Or even if you want to?
It takes a huge amount of courage (a courage that we all have within us, although sometimes we may need a little help to find) to do what’s next – to pick up the pieces and start again. The first realization is, that spinning all those plates at the same time was not a healthy or sustainable Life strategy. Another realization is that in all those plates you had spinning…. none of them had your name on it – you were just the person running around and triaging everything. And another…maybe, just maybe, there were too many plates…. Had you been thinking about yourself when you had taken on that additional project? When you agreed to that last minute meeting? When you made that promise? When you just couldn’t say No to that request?.....No, you just loaded up another plate!
Don’t be a victim to a smashed dinner set….
I would hazard a guess that there are quite a few of those spinning plates – that you could stop spinning, take hold of, and return it to the cupboard to be spun at a later more appropriate date...or not!….That you could give back to the person who gave you it, and let them know that you don’t have the time to spend on that particular plate at the moment, that it needs more attention that you can give right now….that there are even some plates that you'll find that you don’t even need, are not interested in or like, but you just keep them spinning because you always have!
It’s okay to say no sometimes…. In fact, often it is better in the longer run for all concerned. Focus your time and energy on the tasks/projects/people/events that you truly feel a worth it – that actually make you feel like you are making a difference, that make you happy, feel loved, feel accomplished…..and add "You" to the list you will focus on - Your health, your well-being, your happiness, your ambitions, your dreams.
Whether you are picking up the pieces off the floor, or are making a conscious decision to take some of your “plates” off the spin – it’s critical that you take the time needed to assess what needs to be done, with a calm and more focused mind……and remember, even if a plate is shattered, if you think it worthwhile…....with time, effort, and love, it can be put back together again, and, as is illustrated below, this process can make it all the more unique, beautiful and completely precious 💗
Until next time,
Take care, Stay safe…….and please take some time today to count the plates you have spinning….is it too many?
Love and Hugs,
Pam
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