Pam's Daily Wave...

Hello and Welcome to Monday....and only 5 sleeps 'til Christmas 🎄

Apologies for the delay in posting today, on Mondays I deliver Hatteras Island Meals (like meals on wheels), I also had some "Christmassy" stuff to complete earlier this morning, so my blog was the one that got delayed 😊

So, from T-shirts and shorts on Saturday....to thermal underwear and huge fleecy sweaters today. What was a gentle, warm Southerly breeze coming from up from the Gulfstream, changed direction.... and now we're in the rather chilly grip of a North Easterly wind.

With just a few short days before the Christmas Holidays begin…. for all the good “planners”, this may be a pleasant cruise into the festivities, knowing you have everything in hand 😊

….and for the “last minuters”, a frenzied, crazed rush as each hour counts closer 🤪

Me…. I've been known to be kind of both - at the same time!!!!

I love to think about all the things I could do (usually way too many) and then, make extensive plans on how to make them happen – but inevitably, “things” happen….and other more (sometime less) important events come up, and after throwing myself headlong into those tasks or projects, I suddenly find I no longer have the time to fulfil my extensive plans… “things” just got in the way.

Then it’s just a short step to feeling like you’re failing to deliver on all your plans and promises to yourself, and others…. which in turn can lead to feelings of guilt . So, whilst others are enjoying the moment – the things that would used to be on my mind would be “I should have planned better in the first place, I could have worked longer, I shouldn’t have wasted so much time"….and so it goes!

On looking back over the times that my plans failed, times that I felt overwhelmed….it’s with “spectacular clarity” (yes, why does “spectacular clarity” always come afterwards…) that I saw where I was making my biggest mistake – My “To Do List”.

This extremely lengthy and comprehensive list was made up of all the “things” I needed to do to make my extensive, and often overly complicated plans successful. Add to the list the routine “things” I needed to do, like grocery shopping, paying the bills, getting my car serviced, picking up medications etc. and finally.... There were the unexpected “things” that would come up, that ultimately would also make the “To Do List”

I even used to get caught up on how my “To Do List” looked!!!!!!! Wasting precious time amending and reformatting it (yeah, I really would reformat my “To Do List” …. how crazy was that?).

Now, back to my moment of “spectacular clarity” – it was simple – I was taking on too much…. too many ideas and plans, too many promises to deliver on, too many projects, too many last-minute tasks…. too many, too many…too many. No wonder I would fail, because in my mind, regardless of how much I managed to achieve within a certain time, how many things I got to cross of my “To Do List” – I always focused on the “things” I didn’t complete and instead of enjoying the holidays or special events….I would be annoyed with myself for not making it through my entire “To Do List”.....What I didn’t even realize was - that I was the one continually setting myself up for failure.

So, as was the Reason for the “failing” of my plans and subsequent guilt for not getting everything done that I should have…

As was the Solution – I needed to stop trying to do absolutely everything, to learn to say "No", and to learn how to control my out of control “To Do List”.

What appeared to be a simple solution in theory…. Not so simple in practice (especially if you are a type A personality that needs lists).

But there are a few steps you can take to make it easier for you – if you’re like me and have an over abundance of ideas…things you want to plan, create, and deliver. Don’t add them all to your “To Do List”. Keep a separate place to put all your ideas together – a separate notebook, whiteboard, virtual whiteboard (there are some great apps that you can get to do this), a voice recorder on your cellphone etc.

That way, you can keep all your ideas together, and you can choose a time, perhaps once a week, to review your ideas. Often some of the ideas I jumped on immediately and began planning and executing (at the detriment to other plans) were not the most viable, or important of projects, and, with a little more careful thought, instead of adding it to my “To Do List” may either be postponed until it makes more sense, or perhaps taken off my ideas list altogether.

And remember, sometimes it’s better to politely say "No" to a request of you, instead of giving yourself another thing to add to your never-ending “To Do List”, putting yourself under even more pressure, and with the potential to not deliver and therefore let someone down. You truly can't be everything to everyone, all the time...it's just not humanly possible.

So, why not take 10 minutes to have a look at your “To Do List” whether you keep it on paper, on your phone or in your head.

• Are there too many things on there to get through, in the time you have this week.....and still allow Yourself time to enjoy the holidays??

• Are there things on there, that really wouldn't matter if they don't get done... can they be removed from your list?

• Have you committed to too many projects to successfully complete?

• Have you agreed to too many requests made by others?

If the answer is a resounding "No", Congratulations, you have managed your time (and your list) well....🎄🎅

If the answer was "Yes"...take the time to shorten your list....prioritize what's important to you and your loved ones, and concentrate on those things...and cut yourself some slack, you're doing your best😊🎄🎅

I would predict that the time out you take to review and shorten your “To Do List”, will be time very well spent - and who knows…. this could be the start of helping to manage your time and stress levels moving forward…. the gift of some time, and peace of mind to yourself 💗

Until Next Time,

Take care, Stay safe and enjoy the small, precious moments this week!

Love and Hugs,

Pam 💗

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