Good Morning and Welcome to the Weekend......and 14 more sleeps 'til Christmas 🎄
With our rather unpredictable weather, and as we currently have guests staying at the inn, I decided not to go to the beach this morning, and instead I sat on the Inn's front porch to welcome the new day from there.
A southerly breeze brought the mesmerizing sounds of the ocean, and with only a very occasional car going by, on its way to the early Ocracoke ferry….it was a beautifully peaceful morning. Just before sunrise, it began to rain, so I had then had the sound of the raindrops on the porch roof (which I love!)
Now you may be thinking that sitting alone on a dark and rainy morning, may be rather melancholic…. on the contrary, it was wonderful ( I was in a comfy chair, on a covered porch with a huge mug of coffee, a fleece blanket and my trusty journal 🥰).
As so often does, when I’m “present” with my surroundings, my senses heighten, and my mind calms – freeing it up to wander without worry…. to wherever my sub conscious decides to take me….and I got to thinking…
I had read a research study recently (can't help it, after over 25yrs in healthcare and clinical research, I still like to find time to read research papers), which was asking the question of people who were in the latter years of their life.
“What were your biggest regrets in life?”
There were many responses, but there was a resounding number of people listed the same, or similar regrets.
I decided to look at each of the top regrets over the next couple of days, and see if I was making the same mistake….I started this morning, with this one:
"I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time worrying and in self doubt"
So, how much of my 54 years on our little blue planet, have I wasted worrying, stressing (often over things I had absolutely no control over), doubting myself and my ability to make good decisions and choices – hours?, days?, weeks?, months?.......more?
I quickly came to the conclusion that it was an Alarming amount – as proven by the frown/worry lines etched into my face (even Polyfilla would have a tough job filling those cracks!).
I’ve always been one of my own harshest critics (as many of us are…), relentlessly beating myself up over poor decisions I’ve made, worrying about what my next "faux pas" will be, stressing about choices I’ve just made or need to make, feeling guilty about things I did or didn’t do, the list just keeps going on….Often Crying until the skin under my eyes was so red, puffy and swollen, that I really did look like I’d gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson or Connor McGregor – only the fight had been with myself… and I had no-one else to blame.
My thoughts then turned to how much time I had spent laughing (the other lovely lines etched into my face), having fun, feeling proud of work that I had done, things that I have accomplished, the many wild, wonderful and exciting adventures I’ve had, the number of incredibly amazing people I have met, the time spent helping and supporting others….How many hours I’ve spent doing the things that make my heart and soul soar like a beautiful bird – and they were countless 💗
On pondering in my stillness this Saturday morning, I realized that, even though I have gotten so much better at controlling and defusing my stress levels and self-doubt, I still need to be conscious of how much of my precious life am I willing to waste on worry and self-doubt…… and that is..... as little as is possible - And it's up to me to make this happen 😊
How much of your life are you willing to waste on worry and self doubt???
Until next time...
Take care, Stay Safe...and Be Gentle with Yourself, You truly Deserve it 💗
Love and Hugs,
Pam
PS. It's also up to me to make sure I have many, many more adventures to come 😉
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Well stated!