Pam Buchholz
- Feb 16, 2023
- 4 min read

Pam's Daily Wave...

Good Morning and Welcome to my Atlantic Life 😊

Yes, I'm still doing the 4am thing.....and what else would I do when I'm wide awake and want to enjoy the stillness of the morning - I ponder and write 💕

Recently I came across an awesome tool to help me be more mindful in my daily interactions with the people around me (Huge thanks to JB for finding this little nugget of wisdom). I thought I'd share this with you...

The ancient Greek philosopher, Socrates, was known for his profound wisdom and his ability to ask thought-provoking questions. One day, a man came to Socrates, eager to share some juicy gossip he had heard about a mutual friend. Socrates stopped him and said,

"Wait a moment. Before you tell me anything, I want you to apply the three sieves."

"The three sieves?" the man asked, puzzled.

"Yes," Socrates replied.

"The first sieve is the sieve of truth. Are you absolutely sure that what you're about to tell me is true?"

Well, no," the man admitted. "I heard it from someone else."

"Ah," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not.

Let's move on to the second sieve, the sieve of goodness. Is what you're about to tell me something good or kind?"

The man hesitated. "No, not really. It's actually quite negative and hurtful."

"Ah," said Socrates again. "So we have two sieves through which this information has not passed. Let's try the third sieve, the sieve of usefulness. Is what you're about to tell me useful or necessary?"

The man thought for a moment. "No, not really. It's just idle gossip, I suppose."

"Then we have our answer," Socrates said. "If what you're about to tell me is not true, not good, and not useful, why bother telling it to me at all?"

So, how can I apply this philosophy to my own life and the world in which I live today (unlike Socrates who was born a super long time ago in 470 BC, in Deme Alopece, Athens and died in 399 BC in Athens)?

Firstly, the question of truth

-We live in a world of endless information, and it can be hard to distinguish fact from fiction. Applying the first sieve means that before we speak or share something, we must ensure that it is based on reliable sources and accurate information. In today's world, for many, their greatest exposure to information comes via the platform of social media, where applying this sieve is more important than ever. There are no true filters on social media - which is awesome for free speech, but we also have to remember that people can post whatever they want, be it good, bad or indifferent, often it's their opinion.....whatever they "feel" the truth is......or indeed, want the truth to be. Our opinions can be formed by our life experiences, how we as an individual's "see" things - but the factors that may affect how I "feel " and "see" things can be remarkably different from yours, and doesn't mean it is right or wrong.....it's just your personal opinion. Certainly worth hitting the pause button and reflecting on this, don't you think?

Secondly, the question of goodness

- Is what we're saying kind and compassionate? Is it uplifting and encouraging? or could it be construed as being mean, harsh or unkind? Applying the second sieve means that we must consider the impact of our words on others. It's so easy to get caught up in negativity, criticism, and gossip, but taking a moment to evaluate whether our words are good can help us to be more intentional and positive in our interactions with others. Good words have the power to uplift and inspire, and they can help to build strong, healthy relationships. Who wouldn't want to do that? Remember, your words can have an impact on someone's day, week, year....even their life! So, choose wisely 😊

Lastly, the question of usefulness

- Is what we're saying helpful or relevant to the conversation? Will it contribute to the discussion or add value in some way? Applying the third sieve means that we should avoid speaking simply for the sake of speaking. Over the years, I've noticed that some people appear to be uncomfortable with silence, and feel the need to talk just to break the pause in conversation.....even when the subject or comment they interject with is completely irrelevant to the situation they are in. I for one love a good conversation, dialogue, debate....even a constructive argument (although JB would argue that my competitive streak can often rear its ugly little head and I have to be mindful of that bad habit 😉), but I also greatly value silence, whether it be contemplative, or the natural end to a particular dialogue....in fact I often find comfort in silence. If we are going to speak, we should strive to add something of value to the conversation. This could mean sharing insights or perspectives, asking thoughtful questions, or offering constructive feedback and we should all try to learn to be more comfortable in silence, thinking before we blurt something out - Am I just speaking to fill the air with words? By applying this sieve, we can be more intentional about our words and make a greater impact in our interactions with others. And wouldn't that be useful?😁

What a simple concept........"The Three Sieves" provide a valuable framework for evaluating our words before we speak. By asking ourselves whether what we're saying is true, good, and useful, we can become more intentional in our communication and much more mindful of the impact our words have on others. Whether we're speaking with friends, family, colleagues, or strangers, applying "The Three Sieves" can help us to be more thoughtful and compassionate in our interactions, and ultimately lead to more positive and meaningful relationships.....and I for one, am going to try to remember to use this simple reminder 🥰

And of course, my morning would not have been complete without my "Me Time" on the beach.....💗