Good Morning and Welcome to my Atlantic Life in Hatteras 😊
I found myself at the ocean
with no memory of how I got here,
what brought me to this place...
As I watched my footprints in the sand disappear
the sea claiming them for its own,
I begin to care less about the ghosts of my past
and more about my hopes for the future
I found calmness...
I found peace...
.... I found myself 💗
by Pam Buchholz
As I get older, I sometimes catch myself slipping into regret... that dreaded state of mind when you wish you'd made better/wiser/different choices or decisions - the "if only" rabbit hole.
Why do we do this? As we all know, unless someone has invented a way of travelling back in time and I don't know 😉, there is no way of changing the past. Choices and decisions have consequences, and we go on to live with those, whether they be good, bad or indifferent.
Spending time in regret can have a couple of very significant impacts on your mental health:-
Firstly, it's so easy for negative emotions to take hold of you - frustration, sadness, guilt, anger, disappointment..... all of which can spill over into your daily life affecting your mood, demeanor, and decision making - you either spend most of your time second guessing every choice you make, or you become completely indecisive, continually procrastinating over even the smallest decision. In some instances, a depressive state may even set in... 😌
Secondly, when we get caught up in a regretful state of mind, we leave no time or space for hopes and dreams.....our minds become a churning maelstrom of "what could have been", "what should have been", "why didn't I?"...."why did I??".......What chance has creative, positive thinking in this particular scenario - absolutely none!!!
Logic tells me (although JB will tell you that "logical" is not always the word that springs to mind when he thinks of me 🙃), that this state of mind is pointless - I can't reverse what has already happened, instead, I should learn from the experience, which will hopefully help me make much wiser, and more informed choices in the future.
But, as JB knows, I'm not always the most logical of people..... and like many others, I can be prone to this "state of regret".....hanging out with the "ghosts of my past". I needed to learn a way to deal with this potentially destructive habit, to catch it early, before it takes hold - Easier said than done you may say, but a change of environment can help tremendously...
And for me, this is when I need to be near water....whether it be a quick escape to my beautiful Hatteras beaches to listen to the ocean waves, or throwing my trusty paddle board "Misstyk" in the back of Jake (well "throwing" is probably not a good descriptor, as the board is 10ft long and I'm only 5ft 2in tall on a good day, more like precariously placing in the back of the Jeep) and heading to the Pamlico Sound - Sandy Bay is a 5min drive from the Inn, is usually super quiet, and is absolutely beautiful.
My beautiful Hatteras Beach
Just chilling on my paddleboard in the Pamlico Sound...
On Wednesday though, I decided on a different water experience, I put my board in Slash Creek, here in Hatteras Village, and paddled around some of the many waterways that intersect our little township. It was a completely different view of the village that I've come to know and love... as I meandered through the marshes, I found a beautiful peace in the grassy waters, with birds flying above me and fishes occasionally splashing out of the water just next to me. Even the light sprinkle of rain did nothing to dampen my mood, it was wonderful.
Meandering around the marshes in Hatteras Village's Slash Creek
With our busy season now in full swing, it's not always possible for me to leave the inn to satisfy my need to be near the water...... so, I came up with a solution that has kind of morphed into a slightly larger project, than I originally intended (as so often happens, when I get to focusing on something I want to do 😉).
"Anam Cara" at the farm
For years I've had a little Zen frog called "Anam Cara" (gaelic for a person with whom you can share your deepest thoughts, feelings and dreams). He used to live in a bed of hostas in our garden between the house and the barn, when we had the horse-farm. On buying the inn, I noticed a little pile of rocks out in front of the porch, which reminded me of a cairn - The word cairn comes from the Scottish Gaelic: càrn and is a manmade pile of stones that are used as a marker. It seemed like the perfect spot for Anam Cara....so I put him on top of the little cairn where I could see him from the front porch and he could look out over the grounds of the inn.
Anam Cara on his little cairn
Recently, I was sitting on the front porch pondering on how I could have small water feature at the inn - nothing grand or fancy, just something that had some moving water.....when I suddenly thought it might be cool to have a little water fountain placed within the stones that would bubble up and flow over the cairn with Anam Cara sitting atop. On mentioning this idea to JB, he suggested I got a small rigid pond, and then build the tiny cairn in the pond - hmmm.... well, if I'm going to have a pond, why, not have a few aquatic plants in there too...😊
Here's what I chose...
Water Poppies
Water Forget-Me-Not
Water Hyacinth
Then JB thought it would probably be best to surround the pond with gravel, this would prevent lots of grass getting into the pond when the grass gets cut( you can tell JB is the practical one in our relationship, which is just as well because like logic...practicality is also not on my list of personal attributes 😁) .
In order to contain the gravel, we would need to place landscape timbers around the area of gravel.....My small project was beginning to grow... I got to thinking (yes, my crazy little lady brain was at it once again😊), I could create my own little "Zen garden" in front of the inn!
The placement of my future Zen Garden
I remembered that we had an Amish porch swing seat that we had bought when we were renovating the inn. We ultimately decided on some comfy porch seating (outdoor sofas and chairs) so didn't use the swing.....now, if we had a frame, the swing seat could hang from there, and voila - somewhere to sit, relax and contemplate, in my "Zen garden".
It was time to do some shopping......and I've now managed to source some pretty, glass chimes to hang in the trees next to my planned "zen garden", that will to catch the ocean breezes, a few pretty stepping stones that will lead to the swinging seat, a couple of decorative solar lights (the trees are already wrapped in delicate tiny white lights), several little water plants, and a few other little delights that will complete this tiny water retreat. So much for my simple plan for my little cairn....
Although this project will take a little longer than originally anticipated, my hope is that I will have created a small area here at the inn, that will provide a tranquil space for me (and our guests) to sit in, listen to the calming sound of the trickling water, a place that will quieten the ghosts of my past, and allow me to focus on my hopes for the future 💗
(I'll keep you updated on the project's progress!)
Until Next Time...
Take care, Stay Safe and....make sure you're not wasting time hanging out with the ghosts of your past....focus instead on your hopes for the future 🥰
Love and Hugs,
Pam
PS. Continued thoughts and prayers for the people of the Ukraine 🙏
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