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Pam's Daily Wave...



Good Morning and Welcome to my Atlantic Life in Hatteras ๐Ÿ˜Š


I found myself at the ocean

with no memory of how I got here,

what brought me to this place...


As I watched my footprints in the sand disappear

the sea claiming them for its own,

I begin to care less about the ghosts of my past

and more about my hopes for the future


I found calmness...

I found peace...

.... I found myself ๐Ÿ’—

by Pam Buchholz


As I get older, I sometimes catch myself slipping into regret... that dreaded state of mind when you wish you'd made better/wiser/different choices or decisions - the "if only" rabbit hole.



Why do we do this? As we all know, unless someone has invented a way of travelling back in time and I don't know ๐Ÿ˜‰, there is no way of changing the past. Choices and decisions have consequences, and we go on to live with those, whether they be good, bad or indifferent.


Spending time in regret can have a couple of very significant impacts on your mental health:-


Firstly, it's so easy for negative emotions to take hold of you - frustration, sadness, guilt, anger, disappointment..... all of which can spill over into your daily life affecting your mood, demeanor, and decision making - you either spend most of your time second guessing every choice you make, or you become completely indecisive, continually procrastinating over even the smallest decision. In some instances, a depressive state may even set in... ๐Ÿ˜Œ


Secondly, when we get caught up in a regretful state of mind, we leave no time or space for hopes and dreams.....our minds become a churning maelstrom of "what could have been", "what should have been", "why didn't I?"...."why did I??".......What chance has creative, positive thinking in this particular scenario - absolutely none!!!

Logic tells me (although JB will tell you that "logical" is not always the word that springs to mind when he thinks of me ๐Ÿ™ƒ), that this state of mind is pointless - I can't reverse what has already happened, instead, I should learn from the experience, which will hopefully help me make much wiser, and more informed choices in the future.


But, as JB knows, I'm not always the most logical of people..... and like many others, I can be prone to this "state of regret".....hanging out with the "ghosts of my past". I needed to learn a way to deal with this potentially destructive habit, to catch it early, before it takes hold - Easier said than done you may say, but a change of environment can help tremendously...


And for me, this is when I need to be near water....whether it be a quick escape to my beautiful Hatteras beaches to listen to the ocean waves, or throwing my trusty paddle board "Misstyk" in the back of Jake (well "throwing" is probably not a good descriptor, as the board is 10ft long and I'm only 5ft 2in tall on a good day, more like precariously placing in the back of the Jeep) and heading to the Pamlico Sound - Sandy Bay is a 5min drive from the Inn, is usually super quiet, and is absolutely beautiful.


My beautiful Hatteras Beach

Just chilling on my paddleboard in the Pamlico Sound...



On Wednesday though, I decided on a different water experience, I put my board in Slash Creek, here in Hatteras Village, and paddled around some of the many waterways that intersect our little township. It was a completely different view of the village that I've come to know and love... as I meandered through the marshes, I found a beautiful peace in the grassy waters, with birds flying above me and fishes occasionally splashing out of the water just next to me. Even the light sprinkle of rain did nothing to dampen my mood, it was wonderful.

Meandering around the marshes in Hatteras Village's Slash Creek




With our busy season now in full swing, it's not always possible for me to leave the inn to satisfy my need to be near the water...... so, I came up with a solution that has kind of morphed into a slightly larger project, than I originally intended (as so often happens, when I get to focusing on something I want to do ๐Ÿ˜‰).


"Anam Cara" at the farm


For years I've had a little Zen frog called "Anam Cara" (gaelic for a person with whom you can share your deepest thoughts, feelings and dreams). He used to live in a bed of hostas in our garden between the house and the barn, when we had the horse-farm. On buying the inn, I noticed a little pile of rocks out in front of the porch, which reminded me of a cairn - The word cairn comes from the Scottish Gaelic