Hello and Welcome to my Atlantic Life in Hatteras 😊
I came across this poem some time ago from one of my favorite English poets....and on reading it, I thought it was a beautiful way to illustrate a problem that all too many of us on our little blue planet have....
It was the Sunday market
and, as I wandered down the aisles,
an older woman weaving
made me stop and watch a while
she wove a little blanket
but the thread she used was odd
for it wasn't wool or yarn she used
but words pulled from a pot
she threaded up her needle
with a string of "I love you"
and she wove them into "Help me"
braided with "I miss you too"
then "no" a hundred times
rose from her pot as silver thread
and I saw that she had named her stall
"blankets of regret"
and, as I stood and watched her then,
I saw "I love you" fade
and "help me" slowly disappeared
and "no" began to wane
her words had now become a quilt
of pale translucency
and I asked if I could hold this thing
that I could barely see
I expected light and air
but it lay heavy in my hands
and I had to ask about it
for I had to understand
so I asked "what are you weaving?"
and she told me, "everyday
I weave the silence left by words
we're too afraid to say"
by Becky Hemsley
I've often pondered on how easy it is to leave some things unsaid....and mused on why we do this?
Is it fear? embarrassment? avoidance? procrastination? you don't want to appear foolish or unintelligent?.... or just plain forgetfulness?
I'm quite sure there are a hundred different reasons why we don't always say the words that are in our head, you know - the ones that fail to make it out of our mouth.
Indeed, there are some things that are perhaps best left unsaid - things that may not be true, things that may be hurtful or spiteful.....sadly, they are often the very things that do make a rapid transmission to our mouths.....the things that don't seem to pass through the logic or "thoughtful" process filter - comments made in anger, frustration, sadness, or fear - knee jerk reactions, as we like to call them, although in some instances, this is just an excuse for not thinking!
But back to why we leave certain things unsaid...
There may be some feelings that are just difficult to put into words - I know for me, in certain instances my emotions get the better of me....I feel that lump in my throat, and that welling of salty tears, ready to burst the dam and flow down my cheeks, and....I literally lose my voice. Yes, I know that sounds weird, but the words seem to get choked, and the tears take over, rendering me kind of useless in that moment (and why I sometimes avoid phone calls if I feel a little too emotional about a subject, as then I really do sound like you've lost the plot and all I hear is "are you still there??? 🤪)
When you eventually manage to pluck up the courage.....or s*** happens, and you finally say something, you inevitably hear the words "why didn't you say something?"
A quick message to those who say, "Why didn't you say something?" or "You should have said".....before you jump to conclusions, and judge the person for not speaking earlier - Have you ever thought why those words weren't spoken aloud to you?
Are you perhaps a little too quick to judge? maybe you don't always respond in a positive, thoughtful or supportive way? maybe you are always just too busy, a little condescending.....or quite simply, you aren't "listening"......Just a thought...💭
For me, perhaps I spend too much time in my head and overthink certain things - in many instances, I find it easy to express my thoughts and feelings, and the words just flow, perhaps all too quickly.....(as JB would tell you, when I speak too much, which yes, does happen 😉).
But, some things still seem to get "stuck" in my head, that's where my writing helps greatly. It enables me to move the thoughts out of my head onto paper, where I can better understand, and process them more clearly. That's why I often refer to my journal as my "best friend".....I can write whatever is in my head, without fear of what others may think, and then decide what, if, any gets shared.
Journal Time...a dialogue with my better self (well at least my more rationale self 😁)
As I've spoken about before, life can be a complicated, beautiful, and somewhat messy adventure.....but there are most definitely words, that, when they are in your head - you shouldn't afraid to speak....here are just a few examples...
Maybe we should all try just a little harder to be the person that others aren't afraid to speak to.....to "hear" what others may be trying to say to us....💗
Until Next Time...
Take care, Stay Safe and....think for a minute - might you be the person that is afraid to "speak" those words?....or might you be the person who may not "hear" them?
Love and Hugs,
Pam
PS. I'm still keeping the people of the Ukraine in my thoughts and prayers 🙏
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